A Story of Cats

"Don't give me that look."

The cat's sad expression -- he had just finished his bowl of milk and immediately began begging for another one -- did not win over his owner, Larry.

The cat's name was Pussinboots, just called Puss for short. His owner also had two other pet cats, Sylvia and Jeremiah. Sylvia's convivial nature often got her into trouble, while Jeremiah napped pensively on the windowsill. Sylvia and Jeremiah watched Puss's many attempts for more food; all the eating had made him quite rotund. Sylvia found it quite amusing (as she did everything) while Jeremiah took no particular interest.

The table sagged as Puss stepped on it and began his whimpering again.

"All right! I'll get out some milk!" shouted Larry.

Puss's little piggy eyes had a greedy glint as the sweet-smelling liquid was poured into the small plastic bowl with his name on it. Jeremiah, who had been watching the scene, sighed and rolled over.

Brimming with energy, Sylvia came bounding into the room. "Didja see that? Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh? Didja?" she asked excitedly.

"Yes. By far the most exciting thing ever to happen," came Jeremiah's voice, dripping with sarcasm.

"That's what I thought, too!" Sylvia shrieked.

"Quite. It only happens ten times a day," Jeremiah said, wishing he could actually go back to sleep.

"I look forward to Puss's begging! All the time!" Sylvia's reply was clearly na�ve. Jeremiah's response to this was unusually loud snoring. "Tch, whatever," Sylvia snorted.

She trotted into the kitchen to see Puss finishing his milk. "I can't believe he always falls for that whining routine." Puss smirked and licked his fat lips.

"You know, one day these bad habits will come back to haunt you," Jeremiah said quietly.

Puss scoffed at the notion and continued with his gluttony. Jeremiah and Sylvia both knew that Puss's hi-jinks would get him in trouble, but never mentioned it to him (Sylvia especially, because she loved watching it). Jeremiah, having finally spoken up, realized that Puss would never learn.

Puss jumped off the table with a resounding THUD and trotted over to where Sylvia and Jeremiah were sitting (Sylvia wasn't really sitting, she was twitching a lot more). "Eh, guys, how about some grub?"

"But . . . You drank loads of milk. Aren't you, like, really full?" asked Sylvia.

Puss glared at her.

Jeremiah, however, answered her question. "Of course not. Is that cat ever really full?"

Puss looked triumphant, as if he'd accomplished some great feat. Jeremiah scoffed, while Sylvia, with her incredibly short attention span, was off into the living room, presumably to chase something.

The next morning, an unexpected visitor arrived at the door. It was Larry's sister, Yvonne. Yvonne was allergic to cats, so the cats were ushered outside during her frequent visits.

Sylvia loved the experience, there was so much room to run around. Jeremiah and Puss were not so keen on the experience. The windowsill, bathed in sunlight, seemed to call Jeremiah's name.

Puss, on the other hand, kept hallucinating that were was food EVERYWHERE.

Laughter came from inside the house, followed by a shatter and a "sorry about the Ming vase, Larry."

"Listen to the fun they're having!" Puss scowled as angry yells could be heard in the living room of the house. "And the food they must be eating! Tuna, salmon, chicken, m-m-m . . . . I can almost savor all those tasty sensations in my mouth!"

Sylvia chimed in, "You never, ever, ever, ever stop thinking about food, do you?"

Puss ignored this rather rude comment because he had spotted something else: the meatery across the street. The butcher was pounding a steak, which made Puss drool. He involuntarily began walking to the meatery, mesmerized.

The next few seconds were a blur. The screeching horn, the glaring lights, and a whole mess of fur.

"What happened?" Puss asked, laying on the sidewalk.

Jeremiah, nearly breathless, struggled to answer the question. "You . . . You . . . almost got . . . hit by a . . . car!"

"WHAAAT?!"

"You don't remember? It was just a few minutes ago. You nearly got KILLED by a car! Seemed like you were walkin' to the meatery or something," came Jeremiah's clearly panicked response.

Puss mulled this over in his mind. His greed had overtaken his judgment. It took several minutes for this to sink in, but it did. Didn't make much difference; Puss's greed had already corrupted him. One more look at the meatery, and he entered the same hypnotic state that had come over him just minutes before. Once again, he walked across the street, but this time there were no cars to hinder his trek. Upon entering the meatery, he caught the eye of the butcher. The butcher, having a "NO CATS" rule in his establishment, began to swing his knife around wildly. Puss heard a resounding "whiff" as the blade nearly sliced his ear. The butcher appeared to be quite the madman, his eyes bulging and his thick hands flailing about. The chaos knocked Puss back through a door. It was a small door, not large enough for the obese butcher to fit through.

When Puss went through that door, he immediately fell down a rather long shaft. He landed at the bottom with a loud THWOMP, surprisingly unharmed. A few moments later, two other thwops were heard beside him.

"Sylvia! Jeremiah! Why are you here?" asked Puss, perplexed.

"We followed you here. We knew you would do something stupid," Jeremiah replied curtly. Puss was a bit insulted by that remark. He? Stupid? Maybe a little chubby, but not stupid.

He was about to give Jeremiah his thoughts, but Sylvia broke in. "You guys are such silly heads. This is gonna be fun, like an adventure!" She began hopping around uncontrollably.

Ignoring Sylvia's mad antics, Puss wandered around to look for a way out of the pit. On the eastern side, there was a path, but it was unlit. Since that appeared to be the only way out, Puss took a deep breath and marched off. Jeremiah and Sylvia (who was still bouncing) followed.

The path seemed to go on for hours. The three cats remained silent all this time (even Sylvia). Finally, they came to what looked like stairs and walked up them. A door was at the top.

With a creak, the door opened. This place looked very familiar, almost like their house. . . . In fact, this was their house!

Larry was sweeping up shards from a Ming vase when he spied the cats. "There you are!" I wondered where you went! You've been gone for hours!"

A wave of relief spread over Puss. He was safe again. He was scared when he fell down in the pit, but it led to his own house! He glanced back at the place where the door had been. It was gone! Maybe all of this -- the car, the butcher, the tunnel -- had all happened to show him what his greed might lead to.

"Well," said Puss to Jeremiah, "one thing's for sure."

"What's that?"

"I'm never going back there again."

THE END