Comedy Monologue

The other day I was sitting at dinner,
inconspicuously eating my barbeque chicken pizza,
and my sister inquired, "Why don't you write something happy?"

My response: "Because..."

My parents then referenced William Shakespeare, of course, and how the Queen of England asked the infamous playwright to write a comedy after his tragedy Romeo and Juliet.

I stared.

What?

Is there something wrong with my writing, my world?

Is writing about creatures of the devil that suck the blood of innocent people or people that turn into savage monsters that feed on flesh really all that bad?

They are humans too.

Well, were humans.

And what's the matter with mythical beasts?

Just because they are usually associated with evil doesn't mean they're all bad.

My contacts started to turn into arid shells.

I blinked. Slowly.

"Fine, I'll try to write something happy."

So here I go:

Once upon a time in a galaxy not far, far away, there lived a little, macaroni colored goldfish named Bunny! He was a happy aquatic creature, always smiling. he even was smiling when some preschoolers almost drowned him in a tub of raspberry bubble bath.

With a gaping mouth, Bunny eagerly circled the top of his fish bowl. His tummy rumbled with hunger, and, seeing as no one was sprinkling his favorite fish flakes, he pulled his Oscar Meyer Wiener whistle out of his hot pink castle. Breaking the surface, he blew as hard as he could. Within moments his squirrel friend, Rupert, had wiggled into the house. As his stomach gurgled even louder than before, he saddled up Rupert and mounted with a tipsy water astronaut helmet.

In the shake of a lamb's tail, Bunny and Rupert were off on their fishy quest to the local King Soopers. Bobbing up and down as his steed jumped along fences far and wide, he crossed his fins that they'd arrive soon. The situation was getting serious.

Later than sooner and after asking several acorns for directions, they reached the vast store parking lot. Now was Rupert's time to work his magic. After scaring a handful of shoppers by leaping on their backs, a miniscule jar of goldfish food rolled out of a plastic bag. Bunny, smiling, exclaimed his excitement and reached down for the jar- when a seagull swooped down and gulp!

So long, Bunny the Goldfish.
(Laughing)

I couldn't help myself.

So there you go, and remember:
"England has spoken, write a comedy!"